Monday, August 31, 2009

Gappu Aur Kallu ki mulakat - Episode One

Gappu aur Kallu ki mulakat means 'Rendezvous of Gappu and Kallu'. Hope you are going to enjoy it. So here comes the...

Kallu - A young guy who is going to be married soon to a girl of his parents choice (and now his own too)
Gappu - Kallu's friend who is married for 3 years to a very very beautiful girl (who was his girl friend for 8 years before marriage)
[More on their characters in the episodes to come ;)This image has been created by Ambuj Joshi. You can visit his blog anytime to appreciate more of his artwork]

[Kallu and Gappu meet after a few months in market and start gossiping about different things]

Kallu: Man! what have you told to Tikku about marriage, he's now scared to shit and have refused to marry for another five years.

Gappu: Don't laugh man! you're going to be married soon... then you'll be calling me from the bathroom and share your sad-stories with me.

Kallu: I don't understand... Sad stories??

Gappu: Yes my dear friend! no matter how much beautiful your wife is, you are going to get bored of her in six months. You don't believe me, ask Abhishek Bacchan.

Kallu: What are you saying brother? I man can never get bored of his wife. After all a man's libido never dies.

Gappu: Yes! but you can't eat same food daily to satisfy your appetite. For the first 2 months you are like one soul two bodies, always trying to be one body... all the time you are high, but after a period of six months a peck on a cheek is like climbing Mount Everest.

Kallu: How come? What brings so much of a change in so less of a time?

Gappu: Her policing... Where are you? Have you taken lunch? When are you coming home? Are you drinking? Are you smoking? Are you with those filthy friends of yours? Have you bought the curtains I have asked you for? Are they of the same color? ... and a ton of more such shitty questions which leave you with no time for yourself. What am I... her pet?

Kallu: But I guess this is because she cares? She loves you?

Gappu: No... more than that she HATES the idea of me enjoying with somebody 'else'. I am sure, every once in a while a wife dreams of her husband in the arms of another hot chick and that is the moment when she calls you... just to be sure.

Kallu: (smirking) that means you go around?

Gappu: (stoically) Do you think this little device (pointing towards cell phone) can let me go anywhere? Sometimes I think this thing has become another organ of mine. Bring me that jerk who invented this device. I severe, I'll kill him and if he is dead, I'll revive him to kill him again.

Kallu: I guess girls feel more secure when they are talking to a man over phone.

Gappu: Security? Yeah! Telephone is an assurance that the man is still under your control. It's like a collar in the dog's neck.

Kallu: Men are Dogs (Ha Ha Ha)

Gappu (laughs aloud) Yeah! so true. Stray dogs chained to their spouses (Ha Ha Ha)

Kallu: I think bro! you create a lot of fiasco about the marriage. You're exaggerating, it's not as hard if you just care about her.

Gappu: Care? Let me screw your 'care' thing. Suppose you are roaming with her in a mall. She is wearing this really hot dress and her bosom is ready to come out any time. And then out of no where some punks pass by squinting at her assets and commenting the same way you used to do when you were in college. Then what?

Kallu: I'll try to ignore it, thinking that they are just kids, I've also done a lot of that shit while I was in college or something like that.

Gappu: No man! she is your lady... How can you ignore this? Where is your "care" man! She might be expecting something from you. She may want you to do 'something', after all you are her MAN. You should do something heroic... kind of save her from the bad guys. That's another fantasy every woman have... 'Her man fighting 10-20 guys to save her from any damn thing'

Kallu: I'll bash the guys up.

Gappu: Hey! you ain't superman. You can't fight everybody in the street. Like you said earlier, Men are Dogs. How many of them would you stray off?

Kallu: I'll tell her not to waer such HOT dresses.

Gappu: Here... here you broke the ice... you blew the bubble here. Ha Ha. You can NEVER EVER tell her NOT to dress in a way she wants. This makes you narrow-minded... at least in her eyes :)

Kallu: (confusingly)This is very... weird.

Gappu: There is more to it. Throughout the way she'll keep telling you, "that man is not dressed well" or "The dress of that boy is really cool" or "the girl is looking really cheap in that dress" BUT man if she catches you having even a glimpse of a chick around you... then God save you that night.

Kallu: You are exaggerating again Gappu!

Gappu: Not at all man! moreover if she is looking at a jewelry item or a footwear, then be sure that she wants you to give that item as a surprise gift to her, and that also before you want to go to bed with her next time.

Kallu: (slapping his hand in the air) Beat it man! She is the house-holder so what if she wants something. You should be generous enough to give that.

Gappu: House-holder? Your own house becomes a hell once you are married. If your old ones have some problem with her, they'll never say this to her. They'll keep on squinting you or whispering in your ears, "Can't you handle her?", "Can't you tell her that this is not done". On the other hand, if she's not liking something about your mother, she'll not tell this to her mother-in-law, instead she'll tell you... YOU mother's son! What the 'F' man! Why don't they talk to each other directly, What am I? A kind of messenger or something?

Kallu: Gappu! the thing is they both love you a lot, that's why they are both jealous of each other. it's quite normal... just feminine.

Gappu: (throwing his hands up in the air) Yeah! the greatest irony of the life... Two females who claim to love you the most, make your life a living HELL.

Kallu: Whatever you say brother, one can not live without marriage.

Gappu: Sounds like... One can not live without sex. But trust me man, sex has nothing to do with the marriage...

Kallu: but love has...?

Gappu: Forget it! even 'love' has nothing to do with marriage. It's only a compromise. If two people, with nothing in common, just make themselves believe that "this is it, you have no way out, just bear it, keep smiling", then they are going to be called the good, happy couple. Otherwise, you know what...

Kallu: I agree... but there is something where I disagree... You said love has nothing to do with it. I guess 'no', as a few months back I had to stay in the hospital as I met an accident...

Gappu: Yes! I remember, I also visited you there

Kallu: ...Ya...there I saw a Man who was hardly more than 27 years, was having a number of multiple fractures through-out his body. And there was his wife, taking care of him, dressing him, feeding him and helping him in everything, as you could see he was not able to get out of his bed. Nobody was there to help her. Man's parents were too old to serve him. His siblings used to visit him often but... everybody is busy nowadays. She was about 24 or may be 25, but she was so selflessly serving her husband that I saw a lot of improvement in that man's condition in just a week. I stayed there for only one week. So what was it? Wasn't it love?

Gappu: These are the times for which we are forced by our parents to marry, if we are not interested in so called 'love' of our lives. Everybody is going to have ups and downs in the life. As human we are social animals, in our merry-times we need somebody to celebrate with and in our down-times we need somebody's shoulder to cry on. Friends are there, but they have their own lives, they can not be there forever. Parents grow old by the time you have to face the real difficulties of the life. At that time my dear friend! you feel the need for a partner. Who has time for you, shoulder for you plus the sex is bonus ;)
let me tell you a little secret... Men don't love, they just can NEVER EVER love. Their logical brains just can NOT interpret such a complex-out-of-logic thing called 'love'. They just get responsible, more 'loyal'... as you said, 'Men are dogs'
Thanks for keeping the patience to read this crap. It's OK even if you haven't read it completely, atleast you can appreciate the sketch above. The sketch have many sweet-sour memories associated with it. I really adore this item of my carton. Hope you'll like it too. Don't forget to post comments.




hehe. Interesting stuff.

The Cartoon said...

Thanks Ambuj.. .and also 'thanks' for the image of Gappu and Kallu

MB said...

I really dont know what exactly is this thing "Love".but Marriage is just a compromise..Compromise of two people.Just like an agreement Man says "you have to take care of my ego,my so called man ego" The girl says "you have to take care of my emotions, you have to bear my emotional blackmailing"
Man: "you have to do "***" .
Woman: "you have to pay for my very much hunger of shopping".
..................And so so on
Both are equal, both are very different and both cannot live with or without each other.

Chetan Katoch said...

dude u r making me scared of marriage WTF

Chetan Katoch said...

If you gonna write this type of blog then i think i will never marry,you gave so many possible hazards of marriage that i had never ever thought of , u r scaring shit out of me buddy

Riders On the Storm said...

Stupendous Stuff,equally well presented... when i was reading this i had an impression that it is copied from somewhere [no offense!].. Cartoon you can easily mold into a good story writer!!

The whole game revolves around one's thinking..your life follows your thinking.
Everything in the world has a meaning and purpose ...... Love and Marriage are no exceptions! The individual has to decide what meaning these terms hold in their lives....

The Cartoon said...

well said... rider!

@chetan: Don't shit in pants... when your time will come, you'll be hopping more than the horse to get married

NoidaJUG said...

My take : Never approach a situation with a lot of preconceived notions. Allow things to happen, the way they are destined to.

This might be your way of giving vent to your pent up emotions which is admirable and interesting. Kudos....

All the best for your marriage (WIP) !!!!!

Chhavi Negi said...

Suchha detailed analysis on the psychology of married boys! You sure are not helping my freaked-out-at-the-name-of-marriage mind.;)But i am pretty sure that's not the case always.
Good stuff there!

The Cartoon said...

Thanks Cchavi! ya may be it's not the case always... just keep your fingers crossed ha ha